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My Journey

My journey

I have been searching for spirituality with power for all of my life.

From a young age, I felt helpless, sad and trapped. My father had undiagnosed PTSD from the Vietnam War and his childhood. So what was “normal” for him was depressing for me. My mother just wanted to make my father happy, so she went wherever he wanted to go, which was to be far from family and isolated from society. Legalism and religion defined the rationalization for this sort of lifestyle. Together my parents got away from the people that loved them and would have a wise word to say into their lives and then managed to move to a rural area where they could live away from the “evils” of society. Sadly, my siblings and I were also isolated from the good things about society as well.

At some point I bought into the mindset of my parent’s beliefs. I made life decisions in that direction. But it brought me short satisfaction. I didn’t have the vision to see what these decisions would result in, I just trusted my parents. At 19, I felt my whole world was caving in. The result of following God in the way my parents did not result in the life I wanted. I figured the life I wanted would all fall into place.

Such was the journey of pushing through the religion, legalism, and fear to find out what I wanted in life and why. In 2008, after a personal crisis, psychologist, Dr. Coad (Coad Word Christian Counseling) diagnosed me with dissociative identity disorder. Through some intensive spiritual techniques, Jesus healed my spirit.

I still experience intense negative emotions such as anger or anxiety, and depression and emptiness, which mirror the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, a emotional dysregulation disorder. (Thankfully, I came across nutritional supplements which feed my brain and emotions, helping me deal with the daily stress of life.)

Through it all, my relationship with Christ has remained a strong anchor in my life. He has shown great love and grace to me. God’s influence has been a constant thread throughout my life. I enjoy loving Him through worship and fellowship with Him.

I share these personal details to illustrate a change in focus of Kelly’s Voice Art. I have a unique perspective because of life experiences and background. (This applies to everyone, of course.) So this is my voice speaking up to contribute to the long story of human existence. I hope it is valuable to you, the viewer.

Myvoice8.2015

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